International Women's day 2018: Time's Up

Dr Boladale Mapayi

It is often said that when you are lucky enough to take the elevator up, it becomes your responsibility to send it back down. Even though we have taken giant steps towards gender equity, the amount of inequality that still exists is staggering....case in point...chibok girls...dapchi girls...the girls are the ones at risk.

Let's bring it home. Everyone knows that sexism and sexual harassment is rife in our institutions, in our work places. It reduces productivity, it reduces quality of life.

Yes we have educated the girls. Yes there are more women in postgraduate studies in every field, yes there are more women in the work force now than ever before, yet, all you need to do is check the statistics at the top of the ladder.

Think about politics, think about administration, all areas of decision making. Even in trading and agriculture, you will find more women but where...at the bottom, working hard but earning less. Then spare a thought for those who do the same work as male counterparts but are still paid less.

Look at us....yes....right in this environment. Despite our wealth of elegant experienced well educated and tested women leaders we can only boast of a few female VCs, Provosts or CMDs. There are obvious barriers and if we as women do not point to them, emphasize them, insist that institutions begin to deal with them.....We may be in this dilemma for a long while.

Like I said please permit my rants for the next 24 hours ...it's the international day of women tomorrow and these things and so much more are on my mind.

#rant080318

#IWD2018

#timesup

The barriers are not many but they are evident in all spheres of our lives.

#Education. We believe we are winning here because we see through data that we are fast closing the gap between girlchild and boy child education. While this is true a lot is left unsaid and undone. Where are the girls in the field of tech... The drive is on globally to get them there but what are we doing back home? Thanks to programs like the CARTA Fellowship, we can begin to boast of programs that are sensitive to bridging the gender gaps.

The tendency is for the girls to fall away at some point during education and we all know the reason why.... The nurturing role beckons.

How can we create an atmosphere that promotes one without hurting the other?

I have heard women say so often...take some time out for your family...for your children...While they do this, they fall behind and become disillusioned. Can we make our schools friendlier? Who will do this if the women who need the services are not in decision making positions?

#stereotypes. I am not quite sure if we will ever be rid of these. Eve as mothers we pray for female children who will follow norms. No one one wants a career woman as a child who will not take time out to get married or have children. And even now in 2018 a lot of us still believe that the home belongs to the woman. It is time to break down the barriers that we have allowed because they set limits for the girl child that often make it difficult to get to the top unless you become a rebel.

The stereotypes are negative both for boys and girls. The notion of masculinity and aggression has engendered violence on many levels. But let us leave that alone for now.

You cannot tell me I am empowered to fly and then take away my wings. We need to begin to train the girl child to be fearless, to reach not just for the stars but the moon yea even the sun.

We can do this oh yes we can.

#sexual harassment and discrimination. I will take on these 2 together since they are related. It is everywhere. We call it gender based violence, sexual violence, harassment, exploitation, coercion, sexism. They are different concepts but they are interrelated. Lets take sexism to start with. The truth is, this is a double-edged sword. I will tell you why. There is the positive side of sexism that seeks to place women in a sacred place almost, special, treats them like a priced possession, something to be kept, cherished and protected. Once you allow that the opposite of subjugation and violence is the other side of the coin. They go together. People who know me know that when there are chairs to be carried I ask for both male and female volunteers same as when there are babies to be carried.

Some of us still dream of that prince charming who sweeps us off our feet and opens car doors...hmn...be very careful. Let us not be the ones promoting sexism. Let us teach both men and women to be polite, to make way, to learn non-violent, prosocial ways of resolving conflict. Let us not be afraid to get our hands dirty. I wonder how many female ortho surgeons we have in the country...but why....who is afraid of hauling bone?

Let's go to sexual harassment.  The whole world is saying #metoo #timesup but I am afraid. In Nigeria we have just sewn another shroud of silence for our sexual harassment stories....who will believe them? I know the kind of outrage that came as an aftermath of the message about a lecturer in one of our institutions. Where is the investigation? Who will ask the right questions? Who will insist that the case must not be laid to rest until the truth is found? Who will insist? Like one time first lady asked a set of women at one famed gathering....women will you keep silent?

Hmmmnnn.

Do not be fooled, sexual violence never goes away, it seeps into your bones, your nerves, your genes, it dictates what happens in your next generation if intervention does not come, yet, we allow predators walk in our midst.

I am afraid, sorely afraid!

What about the girls....chibok...dapchi....who will ask about them...who will speak up for them. What about the thousands of girl brides all across our country, who fights their course, who writes their life stories?

I have more questions than answers I am afraid.

But I know the place to start. If we raise up fearless daughters then we will have more women who are able to defend themselves. We must start by bringing up fearless and confident girls then we must end with zero tolerance to all forms of sexual violence. No longer must we blame the victim. No longer must we allow the perpetrator walk.

#glass ceiling. 

How many women have experienced the glass ceiling. Let us ask Hilary, she got nipped. Let's ask the BBC  woman who quit her job because she found that she was earning less than her male counterparts. Let's ask every woman that has aspired to a post though well qualified for but she lost because.....

We need to do better as women. Please do not get me wrong. I am not talking about putting an inept person in a post just cos she is a woman but saying we do not have tested trusted experienced reliable able women to take up lofty positions is a slap on our collective faces.

Yes, we must do better with our support of one another. As men, as women, we must do better.

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...written  by Dr. Boladale Mapayi, Lecturer, Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria and  CARTA Fellow.